I did not want this (2)

The following is a memoir of my life which would be published in some series. 

On the way to Pakistan, I witnessed too many insults and cruelties to Hazaras. Being a Hazara was an unforgivable crime. Our nose was the matter of joke, our dialect was harshly satirized, and our culture, conduct and everything related to us were subject to insult and sarcasm. Finally, we passed the Chaman border of Pakistan by paying the dealers as we were Hazaras, though for the rest of Afghans, there was an open border no need of identity or else. We stayed in Quetta for some days and my companions were fooled by human traffickers and asked me to go to Iran. I hated Iran as I had heard numerous shocking stories about Iranian government conduct with Afghan refugees. Eventually, they were about to move toward Taftan border between Iran and Pakistan. I was just so frustrated and desperate.  If only I had had Rs.200; I would have gone to Karachi and would have saved those wasted years in Iran working as underemployed laborer. Sometimes, a life can be saved or shaped only by Rs.200.

I did not want this (1)

The following is a memoir of my life which would be published in some series of parts. 

When I was studying hard enough to become someone who I dreamed, I never thought that life has so many complicated faces in reality. My entire education has a very sad, adventurous and strange story. I never had the luxury of having any support that most of the children have in this world in their childhood.

I studied my primary school with gaps and interruption in my district school. Some years I was laboring for helping my family in the village. Once, my father bought a falcon. He fed it for almost 4 months with lamb and goat meats until the falcon dealers camp in Qarghanato of Bamyan. Finally the time came and my father called me in a morning to give up the work which I was busy with in the plantation. He ordered my mother to give me two pairs of cloths as I was having a journey ahead. Later on I found out a cage on my shoulder inside of which was the falcon. My father was riding his mare horse and while I was stepping after the horse, I was changing the cage from left shoulder to right and vice versa as it was heavy to my capacity. Finally, after 4 days we arrived in Qarghanato of Bamyan where there were white tents in everywhere specially in far-reaching corners of the desert. Our falcon had a flaw; one of its wings was damaged during hunting.

بر سر چند راهی

این روزها در کلاس ویبلاگ نویسی می آیم و می خواهم با درگیر شدن با ویبلاگ نویسی پس به خط نوشتن و خواندن برگردم. از سال 2010 میلادی که برای ادامه تحصیل به هند رفتم و حتا قبل تر از آن دست از نوشتن و خواندن جدی برداشتم و آن هم چند دلیل داشت: 

1. نوشتن در این کشور به یک کار تجملی می ماند؛ کاری که اگر آب و نان و کار و مقام و شهرت داشتی می توانی از سر تفنن و دست و پا کردن جایگاهی در بین اهالی فرهنگ و ادب بنویسی و اگرنه از گرسنگی و گمنامی و احساس حقارت روانت آزرده خواهد شد و سر به بیابان خواهی زد. 

2. نوشتن در این کشور برای تو هیچ معیشیتی نمی دهد. اگر کمی انگلیسی و دو برنامه کمپیوتر بلد باشی و یک واسطه خوب هم داشته باشی؛ از نویسنده ای که خیلی خوب هم می نویسد و ده ها مساله را می فهمد، به مراتب معیشت و جایگاه اجتماعی بهتر داری.
3. و چندین دلیل دیگر.

اما بدون نوشتن، آدم به آب ایستاده ای می ماند که به گفته هوشنگ شفا "در ملال آبگيرش غنچه لبخند ميميرد/ آهوان عشق از آب گل آلودش نمي نوشند/مرغكان شوق در آيينه تارش نمي جوشند".
اما نوشتن و آنهم نوشتنی که در خور مطالعه باشد، کار ساده ای نیست. کسی می تواند بنویسد که همزمان مطالعه نیز کند. افزون بر این، از بسیاری لذایذ دیگر مثل چکر، خوشگذرانی، لم دادن و استراحت کافی نیز باید درگذرد. زیرا، نوشتن کار عمیق فکری است. باید خلوت با خود را نسبت به حشر و نشر با جمع ترجیح داد. ورنه نوشته ای که کسی بخواند و حرف نو و جدی ای در آن بیابد بیرون نخواهی داد. این است که خود را فعلا بر سر چند راهی احساس می کنم. لذت نوشتن و خواندن برای من از همه حظ و حال های دیگر بیشتر است؛ اما معیشت و حیثیت اجتماعی از طریق نوشتن هرگز در افغانستان به دست نمی آید. ممکن است خیلی ها تو را به عنوان یک نویسنده احترام کند و جایگاهی در بین اهالی فرهنگ بیابی؛ اما هرگز برای تو نان و نامی نمی شود که در اجتماع خودت با آن با دیگران یکسان نگریسته شوی. برای این امر، باید در جایی کار کرد و خود را با شرایط محیط کار وفق داد تا از آدم های عادی این جامعه در نزد دیگران پس نمانی. در سال نو(2013)، تصمیم به دگردیسی گرفته ام، اما دیده شود که کدام سو مرا بیشتر مجذوب خود می سازد. هنوز هم بر سر چند راهی ام!!

How federalism is interpreted in Afghanistan?

Federalism is an academic concept, and I am fascinated by its ability in decentralizing and engaging the people more in democracy. In the context of Afghanistan, there would not be a clear-cut presumption that it works as it did in the rest of the world. However, it is still a means to bring about justice, ethnicity balance in the respective regions and terminate the monopoly of single-ethnic rule. As far as the success or failure of federalism in Afghanistan is concerned, there are two different sets of ideas, in the one hand the pros of federalism think that in the given diversity and political context of Afghanistan, it will successfully operate, in the other hand the cons of federalism believe that it will not be a good response to the current political crisis. This paper would academically examine these hopes and concerns with no favor in term of its applicability or non-applicability. [1] In the other word, this also would pursue the possibilities and challenges of its applicability within the confines of realities not based on waves favoring this system without profound judgments.